Julie's Quest

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My blog is about the trials and tribulations of writing, where we celebrate successes and commiserate our near misses. We tell it like it is here and will do our very best to help you on the road to being published and pick you up after the rejections (they will come!) Whether you are a professional or amateur writer you will find something useful here.

I hope you enjoy reading my posts and will visit again soon.

Happy Writing

Julie Phillips - freelance writer - member of the Association of Freelance Writers - member of the Society of Authors

Monday, 6 April 2009

Letting go .........

I was intrigued (and slightly worried) yesterday, that when I read the Top ten pop charts in the Daily Mail supplement, I hadn't a clue as to what the songs, or who most of the artists were! Is this a phenomenon specific to me - or does it happen to you too?

It got me wondering about other things that have happened recently, or that I've been thinking about that have given me suspicions about myself and life in general, that make me think I am well past my sell by date. Even if I were on special offer at a well known supermarket, folks would wrinkle their noses and pass me by, for a newer, slender, more youthful product! I'm not looking for sympathy, or a good kick, I'm just mulling over things.

I found another grey hair on my bonce this morning. There was a time that I would ridicule my sister for her grey hairs as she's younger than me. But how she gloated when I found several of my own! Time and age comes to us all and there's not a lot we can do about it - unless you want to go down the plastic surgery route- which I certainly don't. Who wants to look like Joan Rivers?!

Anyway. Where were we? Oh yes age. It has to be said that I have some short stories that are old now. They've been languishing at the bottem of my piles, causing me unbearable irritation and strife! I get them out of their dark and shabby folder every now to look at them and then I put them back in before I get any ideas of sending them off. They are truly awful you see and must never be seen by any editor ever, for fear that they will never let me send anything in ever again. So why do I keep them?

If you've been reading my blog, you'll know that I've been/am still having a big spring clean. Last week it was the writing cupboard, well now it's migrated to the rest of the house. I knew that once I started in the writing cupboard that would be it. In for a penny in for a pound and all that. It's been amazing and slightly embarrasing, what I've found during my rummaging. Things from years ago that have no possible use or even sentimental value have been unearthed. It's quite a challenging and frustrating process, all this clearing and cleaning. But I know it will be worth it in the end.

Again, why do I hang on to rubbish and writing that I know I'll never do anything with? My name's Julie and I'm a hoarder! I have to get it sorted before they send Kim and Aggie round with their swabs and petri dishes! I don't know why I can't let go - maybe it's a fear of letting go of the past. I don't know. Any psychologists out there who may be able to shed light on my piles and inability to throw out stuff?

I suppose it's like editing really. Having to go painstakingly through each word, sentence, paragraph and chapter is a neccessary evil, but the writing is generally much better for it. I know that once I've cleared out every cupboard and room my house, and my sanity, will be better for it. My daughter can go into the big spare bedroom and I can reclaim the little box room as my writing space - hurrah! A whole room to myself, tidy and everything!

I do feel better since I started the clear up and I am eager to carry on and get it all done now. Unfortunately, my writing has been a casualty of this cleaning drive, but it's all for a good cause.
Tomorrow my husband will be here and we can tackle the 'blue room' (we call the bedrooms by what colour they are - strange I know!) the second bedroom, together. This will become my daughter's new bedroom when it's clear and been recarpeted.

So watch this space .........

Question for everyone - What is your bug bear in life, and if you could change one thing about your life that you didn't like, what would you do?


Churchmouse said...

How great to have this drive, to clean and re-carpet, how can you say you are by your sell by date? Your life is still buzzing, and if your taste in music has changed, so what?

And if you are passed it, what about people like myself who are in their seventies? Age is all relative, thank goodness, as is everything in life, providing one has reasonable health.

No you can't go back, can't change things, everyone has something they would change but that way leads to non-acceptance of the blessings we have and a feeling of constant dissatifaction.

Sorry to be so heavy, and I'm sure you meant this as a light hearted question, it's just that I've spent two hours with my spiritual director discussing this subject in relation to a belief in God....:-) hugs...xx

Julie P said...

I've been asking myself some pretty deep questions that have come to me as I've been cleaning and tidying. It's amazing what the cleaning process does to your brain. And how tired it makes you feel!

There's a major dilemma I have at the moment in whether I resume my nursing career or not. I will have been out of nursing for a year later this month. I took myself out, partly due to the environment I was working in and a particular nasty incident involving an over reaction by one of my bosses and that escalating and being backed up by the main boss, over a completely innocent email involving patient care that I sent to the manager. The manager did not discuss the email with me but obviously thought it was an excellent opportunity to pass it on the a couple of the other bosses and try and get me into trouble. But it back fired on her as I walked out and she was sent by the bosses to try and sort it out, but she couldn't as I wasn't going to play ball!

They wanted to discipline me for caring about the level of patient care!! All this from the NHS - A supposedly caring profession. Is it heck! I had been a nurse for 13 yrs. I won't be going back. There's too much pressure on hitting targets and the nastiness and rudeness from bosses and some other colleagues is uncalled for and totally unprofessional.

I miss the patients, but I would be doing them,myself and my family a disservice if I went back to nursing. It's a shame because I used to love being a nurse, but over the years my enthusiasm and love for the job just got eroded. I just don't have it in me anymore! Which is fine. There are other occupations out there. Nursing just isn't the same for me anymore.

As for a belief in God, well, I agree that we cannot change the past, and by wanting to change something it can hamper your efforts to move forward. It can become all consuming. I think if we cut ourselves some slack sometimes and took things one day at a time instead of constantly chasing our tails they our lives could be better.

I definately feel better for not having to rush everywhere all the time. I've not driven for a year and I walk most places, my pace of life is slower and I'm less stressed, which can only be good. I don't want to go back to rushing my daughter into nursery and rushing through work to make sure I can get it all done in time to pick her up - it was crazy!

Yes it was a light hearted question. Just a bit of fun really - but we've both ended up having a deep conversation!! Anyway - glad your book editing is going well. More cleaning and clearing for me tomorrow. Julie xx

Churchmouse said...

There's lots of unresolved issues there, Julie, and thank you for sharing. I have also been through similar events that you describe and there are things I would like to say to you that just might be helpful. If you would like to email direct then please do so, but I won't be wearing my 'Christian' hat. If you would rather not, then that's fine too.

Night, night, hugs...xx

Julie P said...

Thanks Carole. There certainly has been a lot going on and with more to come I think! And if it wasn't for my writing I think I would have gone stir crazy by now! Had some very strange dreams last night too! I can feel my creativity wiring up again. I'm sure it's all this clearing out you know. It's cleared all the junk out of my mind too.I will certainly email you later. I don't mind what hat you wear. Julie xx