Julie's Quest

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My blog is about the trials and tribulations of writing, where we celebrate successes and commiserate our near misses. We tell it like it is here and will do our very best to help you on the road to being published and pick you up after the rejections (they will come!) Whether you are a professional or amateur writer you will find something useful here.

I hope you enjoy reading my posts and will visit again soon.

Happy Writing

Julie Phillips - freelance writer - member of the Association of Freelance Writers - member of the Society of Authors

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Keep it to yourself

It seems the swearing issue at my daughter's nursery has reared it's ugly head again. Now call me old fashioned, but does anyone else think that swearing in front of a load of three and four year old children and their parents is acceptable? I don't know why it is that a minority of the parents think it's perfectly okay to allow a torrent of foul language pass their lips. They all seem to think it's hilarious, despite several warnings having been issued by the school stating that the language is unacceptable. They've even been threatened with being banned from the school site if they continue ..... obviously that threat has worked well hasn't it?!

There was someone talking about swearing in literature in the New Writer magazine and claims that by using expletives in literature it glamourises and normalises its use and it becomes more ingrained in our culture. Most of us swear at some point, I should imagine. I put my hand up to it because I do, but not in inappropriate situations like when I'm in a group of children! In fact I'm trying very hard to curb my swearing even further by not swearing at all, no matter how dire the situation or how provoked I am.

The parents who swear obviously didn't read my 'This Weeks Blog' in Woman's Own did they?! About this very topic! I just feel incredibly sad for them that they feel they have to swear all the time. Do they not know how to express their frustrations and anger without using foul language? What must their lives be like that they cannot articulate their feelings in a sensible, respectful and adult manner? What must their children's lives be like with a parent who's every other word seems to be f**k, & s**t, (I've put them in small type because I can't bear to see them written on a page let alone say them!) What worries me is that these are the parents of the children my daughter is going to be going to school with! Says it all doesn't it.

The school, give them their due, are trying to do something about it, and have been very approachable, taking my, and other parent's concerns seriously. So I shall be watching closely what happens next. Is it unreasonable for me to expect a bit of decorum when I'm waiting to drop/pick my child up from nursery? What does everyone else think?

I mean, I get on with the other parents. There are some who are around my 'geriactric mother' age, and when those mothers who swear aren't swearing, they can be pleasant too. I don't particularly want anyone to be 'banned from site', vindictiveness is not in my nature. All I want is for them to show themselves, and the rest of us some respect by stopping swearing. It's a difficult line to tread as I don't want to become further alienated by the swearers because they're annoyed I stood up for decency and good manners and alerted the school to their unacceptable behaviour. Neither do I want myself or my daughter to be subjected to that bad language. I think I'm doing the right thing.

I'm not responsible for their behaviour, they are, and I think if they don't want to get banned from site they should stop swearing. I think this issue goes deeper than that though. Some of the parents seem to have issues with authority, and with the headteacher in particular, which is a shame. She runs a tight ship and is very open to new ideas and has strong ideas about which direction she wants the school to go. What's more important is that she's approachable, and listens to what parents have to say. She imposes discipline, but in a caring and appropriate way - the way it should be. Some parents could learn a lot by following her example.

Again - there's got to be a few short stories in there somewhere!!

Take care, and happy writing, whatever you're writing. Julie xx


Fee said...

I agree swearing should not be encouraged in front of children. Parents should realise that their children should be brought up on respect and not foul language.

I really hope this problem goes away.

Best wishes


klahanie said...

Hi Julie,
It is indeed a sad state of affairs that certain individuals seem to think it is okay to use Anglo Saxon derivatives in front of the children.
I would speculate that the people who resort to the usage of profanities are probably prone to swear in front of their children as a matter of course at home. What does this tell the kids? Very sad indeed. Like Fee has stated, I really hope this problem goes away.
Kind regards, Gary.

Julie P said...

Thanks Gary and Fee. Strange turn of events this morning, though. I was walking Isobel to school and was interceptive by the parent concerned who wanted a word with me. She appologised to me and Isobel as it seems the school had told her who was complaining (not quite happy about that as they couldn't fortell what she would do with that info - I could have had a bloody nose!) Anyway, problem, for now seems settled.

Jaye said...

Good for you Julie - you have to stand up for what's right. And at least it seems to have worked on that particular mum, hopefully she may be able to influence the others.