Julie's Quest

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My blog is about the trials and tribulations of writing, where we celebrate successes and commiserate our near misses. We tell it like it is here and will do our very best to help you on the road to being published and pick you up after the rejections (they will come!) Whether you are a professional or amateur writer you will find something useful here.

I hope you enjoy reading my posts and will visit again soon.

Happy Writing

Julie Phillips - freelance writer - member of the Association of Freelance Writers - member of the Society of Authors

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Blog Take Over Day ...... Present Day

This is what she really looks like!
What on Earth is that ruddy woman doing? She doesn't have a clue. She's read countless books on the subject, done the work book, been told time and time again how to do it and I've even given her clues along the way. But no. She can't get it through that ultra thick tortoise shell skull of hers. Calls herself a writer? PHAH!

I've never had the chance to tell you all about her, until now, because she's always hogging the computer, blabbering on about the same old boring stuff that no one's interested in. She goes on and on and doesn't draw breath. I never get a look in. Well that's about to change. At this very moment she is trapped in the cupboard under the stairs with no chance of escape - not even her precious Moleskine notebooks can help her now. Did you know she sits there sniffing them? And then there's her ridiculously large collection of pens. I mean, she can only use one at a time can't she!

And as for her books. My word! She made her poor husband build her this massive book case to house them all - and there ain't no way she's ever going to read them all. She wakes up several times in the night and all you hear is this twang and a click, followed by a frantic scratching sound, then the clomp of a notebook closing and then silence ...... until five minutes later when it all starts again. She spends hours sitting at this computer tapping away, totally oblivious to what's going on around her. She grumbles and mumbles and talks to herself a lot. Are these the actions of a sane woman? I think not. Occasionally, well, not so occasionally actually, when her writing is not going so well (which seems to be most of the time), you should hear the words that come out of her mouth! You wouldn't believe it to look at her, but take my word for it - she's as rough as an old fishwife.

Oh it's so much fun spilling the beans on her! She's going to go mad when she finds out - you won't tell her will you? This will serve her right for liberally sprinkling me around the page with wild abandon with no thought for the consequences. For putting me in places totally unbecoming for a self respecting and decent comma as me; how embarrassing is that? Seeing as she is fond of embarrassing me, let's see how she likes it when the comma is on the other page! That imposter and blight on the world of writing fancies____________________________Z @*kghD
Hey. How did you get out? Gerrooffff. This is my post *$sdlo
________________ @MHNNkmhsdf Aggggggggrrrrrhhhhhh!

Signed , PS Someone save me from this mad woman who can't write. Can I come and live with one of you proper writers out there in Blog Land please?


Quillers said...

What a brilliant idea! Love the talking comma! I've a tendency towards using too many myself!

I've sorted out the link, Julie, and added it to the sidebar on my page.

Teresa Ashby said...

Hope you've let Julie stay out of the cupboard now , I know how vindictive you punctuation marks can be. I have had my wrists slapped in the past for the presence of a whole gang of !!!!s

Carole Anne Carr said...

Great fun! Loved it!

Hugs, Carole xx

Julie P said...

Thanks for sorting out the link, Sally! She's a bit dim when it comes to technical things. The more people who read this expose and find out what she's really like the better!

It's okay, Teresa. She's out of the cupboard now and has been placated with a new moleskine notebook - she'll be sniffing away at it for hours.

Thank you, Carole! I think I'll have to write this blog from now on instead of her!

love ' xxx

Olivia Ryan said...

Yes, that was hilarious, and great fun! But Julie must have taught you all you know. Bring her back!!

Julie P said...

I might bring her back, Olivia, but only if she promises to be good and sort her punctuation out. She needs to sort her hair out too!

, xx

Jaye said...

LOl, great post. You know, that third paragraph could have been describing me - the mumbling to myself etc - bit worried about cupboards now ... glad Julie had her moleskin notebook with her to keep her sane!

*toast* To next year!

womagwriter said...

,,, ,, ,,,, ,,,,, ,,, , ,,, ,! ,,, ,, ,,,,,,, ,,,,,. ,,,, ,,,,,!

Julie P said...

I'm always mumbling, Jaye! I think it goes with the territory for writers!

I have only one thing to say to Womag Writer - ;

The comma is now in the cupboard weighed down by several punctuation books!

Julie xx

Simon Whaley said...

Whatever you do, don't take Julie's Moleskine notebooks away!

(She'll have nothing to sniff then!)

Julie P said...

That's very good advice. Mr Whaley!Everyone would be well advised to listen to him as he knows what I'm like if someone tries to take my moleskine notebooks away!


Antonia said...

Comma comma comma comma comma commelion...oops can't spell! Nice one.

Julie P said...

My comma thanks you, Antonia. I would let it him out again but I fear the consequences! My reputation would be toast!

Julie xx

klahanie said...

Ah Julie. I just had to leave a 'commament'...this is quite the 'commady' formulated here.
I don't think it would be possible for you to live in my 'Blog Land' house. Not much room here. What with all the flippin' garden gnomes and some fairy princess that have taken over the place.
Good luck, Julie:-)

Julie P said...

I see you have a good COMMAnd of the situation! But I'm afraid I'm just going to have to COMMAndeer your gnomes and fairies as a matter of national security. I'm sure you'll understand!

Julie xx

Ellie said...

Hilarious. All I can say is COMMA!!!!